WHAT IS LOVE AND LOGIC® PARENTING?

Love and Logic® is a philosophy developed by Jim Fay and Foster Cline, M.D. It’s a philosophy of raising and teaching children which allows adults to be happier, empowered, and more skilled in their interactions with children. The technique uses equal parts of empathy with consequences to provide optimum learning from mistakes. This helps to raise children who are self-confident, motivated, and able to solve their own problem when they meet life's challenges.

According to the Love and Logic® Institute, "Love allows children to grow through their mistakes. Logic allows children to live with the consequences of their choices. Love and Logic® is a way of working with children that puts parenting back in control by handing over control you don’t need. It teaches children to be responsible by creating opportunities to increase thinking, problem solving, and the ability to make better decisions. It prepares young people to live in the real world, with its many choices and consequences."

Becoming a Love and Logic Parent®Curriculum

9 Essentials for the Love and Logic Classroom® Curriculum

Download & Print Class Flier

CURRICULUM

Becoming a Love and Logic Parent®

This program has been designed to help participants learn skills for: (1) Creating home environments that stimulate responsibility, resiliency and academic achievement; (2) Preventing misbehavior; (3) Avoiding power struggles while setting limits; (4) Teaching character and responsibility though modeling and the application of logical consequences instead of punishment; (5) Teaching children health problem-solving skills; (6) Staying calm in stressful parenting situations; and (6) Helping children become prepared to resist drugs, alcohol, violence, and other dangerous behaviors.

The program consists of 7 separate modules, each of which teaches a different subset of skills. Each of the skill subsets is taught through various media including video presentations, readings, structured group exercises and discussions. The class is approximately 10 hours in duration.

Raising Responsible Kids (Module #1)

Participants will learn:

That mistakes made early in a child’s life provide as valuable lessons if handled appropriately by parents
Why giving repeated warnings and lectures interferes with responsibility and character
The importance of holding children accountable for their poor decisions through the use of logical or natural consequences
That mistakes made early in life typically have much smaller “price tags” than those made later on
Four steps for using childhood mistakes and misbehavior to teach responsibility
Why teaching responsibility leads to the development of a positive self-concept

The Love and Logic® Formula (Module #2)

Participants will get an introduction to Love and Logic®’s C.O.O.L. formula:

"C" stands for control that’s shared (the importance of sharing through choices within limits)
"O" stands for ownership of the problem (why it’s essential that children be allowed to own and solve the problems they create)
"O" also stands for opportunity for thinking/decision making (an introduction to using empathy to place children in "thinking mode" instead of "fight mode"
"L" stands for let empathy and consequences do the teaching (an introduction to the importance of using empathy and logical consequences in punishment)

A Control That's Shared (Module #3)

Participants will learn:

That perceived control is a basic human emotional need
That we can either give control on our terms or wait for our children to take it from us on their terms
Specific guidelines of sharing control through choices
Rules for the appropriate use of choices
When not to give choices

Ownership of the Problem (Module #4)

Participants will learn:

About the "Helicopter," "Drill Sergeant," and the "Consultant" styles of parenting
Why parents who hover and rescue, as well as parents who bark orders steal their children’s opportunity to solve problems and learn
Why these two types of parents raise children with low self-esteem
Five steps for being a Consultant parent who guides their children to own and solve their problems
How to determine when it’s your problem versus your child’s
Tips for avoiding arguments and power struggles

Opportunity for Thinking (Module #5)

Participants will learn:

Why telling children what to do results in power struggles
How to set limits by describing what you will do or allow (using "Enforceable Statements")
How to apply enforceable statements to everyday issues such as meals, homework, allowance, arguing, etc.
How to replace idle threats with enforceable limits
The importance of taking time, getting support, and practicing before implementing logical consequences (the "Strategic Training Session")

Empathy and Consequences (Module #6)

Participants will learn:

The difference between logical consequences and punishment
Why punishment frequently leads to resentment, revenge, avoidance and other problems
How to use empathy to help children learn from consequences, instead of feeling resentful and angry
Why empathy allows parents to remain the “good guy” while allowing the consequences of their children’s poor decisions to be the "bad guy"
Guidelines for developing effective logical consequences

9 Essentials for the Love and Logic Classroom® Curriculum

This program has been designed to help participants learn skills for: (1) Creating classroom and school environments that stimulate responsible behavior and high levels of academic achievement; (2) Preventing misbehavior and increasing instructional time on task; (3) Avoiding power struggles while setting limits with challenging students; (4) Teaching character and responsibility through the application of logical consequences instead of punishment; (5) Developing positive, cooperative relationships with even the most difficult students and their parents; and (6) Preserving the learning environment when one or more students become disruptive and unresponsive to preventative discipline.

The program consists of nine separate modules, each of which teaches a different subset of skills. Each of the skill subsets is taught through various media including video presentations, readings, structured group exercises and discussions. The class is approximately 12 hours in duration.

Neutralizing Student Arguing (Module #1)

Participants will learn:

That arguing is one way that challenging students exert unhealthy control over classrooms and schools
That arguing is one way that challenging students exert unhealthy control over classrooms and schools
How adult-child arguments often contribute to the development of more serious acting-out behavior
Why reasoning with arguing students is ineffective
A practical skill for disengaging from arguments by repeating one statement like a “broken record”
How to apply this skill with empathy instead of anger or sarcasm

Delayed Consequences (Module #2)

Participants will learn:

About research that shows why consequences do not always need to be immediate
How to delay consequences in a way that yields the benefits of delayed consequences and immediate consequences at the same time
That delayed consequences allow one to calm down, develop an effective plan, and avoid “knee-jerk” reactions
Why repeated warnings are damaging to students and schools
How to develop an enforceable classroom discipline plan

Empathy (Module #3)

Participants will learn:

How the human brain responds to threat by narrowing thinking and shifting into “fight or flight”
That empathy is a powerful tool for helping students remain in “thinking mode”
That providing empathy before delivering consequences allows students to learn from the consequence…instead of developing resentment toward the adult
Why empathy without accountability leads to irresponsibility and low self-esteem

The Recovery Process (Module #4)

Participants will learn:

How to use the “recovery area” approach to preserve the learning environment when one or more students become chronically disruptive
The basic goals of this approach
The importance of adapting this approach to their unique school
What to do if a student refuses to go to Recovery when asked
Related legal issues and tips for explaining this approach to parents

Developing Positive Teacher/Student Relationships (Module #5)

Participants will learn:

How coercive strategies and tangible rewards backfire with disruptive, resistant students
That positive teacher-student relationships are the key to success with such students
The difference between general praise and specific encouraging feedback
The importance of greeting students each day with friendly eye contact, a smile and a handshake
The “One-Sentence Intervention” technique for building successful relationships with the most challenging students

Setting Limits with Enforceable Statements (Module #6)

Participants will learn:

Why it’s important for educators to set fair and consistent limits with students
How to set such limits in ways that decrease resistance and power struggles
How to set limits that are easily enforceable
Specific examples of enforceable limits, or “enforceable statements”
How to enforce limits through the use of questions

Using Choices to Prevent Power Struggles (Module #7)

Participants will learn:

That a general sense of personal control is a basic human emotional need
That most people will do almost anything to regain control
How to share control to gain more of it
Guidelines for sharing control through choices within limits
Specific examples of appropriate versus inappropriate choices

Quick and Easy Preventative Interventions (Module #8)

Participants will learn:

About research showing that effective teachers spend most of their time and energy preventing behavior problems instead of reacting to them
Specific interventions designed to prevent disruptive behavior
Guidelines for using preventative interventions versus using logical consequences
The importance of addressing discipline on two levels: prevention of misbehavior and accountability for poor behavior
That positive teacher-student relationships are the foundation of preventative discipline

Guiding Students to Own and Solve Their Problems (Module #9)

Participants will learn:

Five steps for helping students learn to own and solve their problems
Why it’s important that educators avoid rescuing students by solving their problems for them
How to avoid resistance while helping students learn to problem-solve
Guidelines for determining when to allow students to solve problems versus when to step in
The importance of keeping our disciplinary discussions with students very brief